Margolias MSTs: Imma Wiserd chapter 1

{Happy New Year, everyone! I will be kicking of the year with a story requested by my bro, , Known as Imma Wiserd. (Alternate title: Da magikal n-word.) It's... pretty damn racist.}




ch 1: da beginin


AN: afta redin da hairy potty books (not rly i saw the mooviez lolololol) i desided 2 make mi own hary potty storee. {Question: Why would you say you read the books if you only saw the movies?}

note 2 da reedars: neva beliv any1 hu sayz a blak man dont like fired chickin {Oh, boy. And we're the racist ones despite you perpetuating stereotypes because...?}

I wuz sittin out on da porch an mi mama leend out da windo an sayed "watchu doin soulja spirit buu jackson?". {Buu? Like, Majin Buu?? ....Oh, god.}

"nuttin much" i said "we gut no food". {You could always turn shit into candy...}

"o turtle don cri" {Wait, wasn't his name Soulja? Where did Turtla come from? Is it a nickname? What is going on? Who am I!? Where am I?!}

"na mama i aint mad" i says. den i loked at da gund n said "i wish i had sum fried chinkin" den... dere wuz fried chikin on da grion!!11111111111111 {Gasp! It's almost like... MAGIC!}

"yo buu wuz dat i smel" mi mama said. I lookd arund all snecky like and den i whispad "fried chikin" an it went away. {Yes, let your mother starve. You paragon of virtue.}

i wuz scared but nut in a afrayed way. {Wait, what. How does that work? How can one be scared yet not feel fear? My brain hurts...}

den i whispad again "fried chicken" and it appered agan!111 so den i desided 2 tri sumden out. "wattamelon" an dere it iz a big ol slice o watrmellon at mah fet. {Oh, come on!} mah mam lend out da door agan "boi now i no i smel sumden". so den i leaned ova and wispad "fired chikin... wattamelon" an dey boat went away. {Exciting.} i gut up an says 2 mi mama "lock mama!11 i aint gut nottin!11"

"but im so hundreh" sayed ma mama. den i felt sad. so i pointed mah finger at da grund an sayed "fried chikin" den a big ol bunmch of fired chikim appeerd. mi mama jumpt an scrammd. she ran in da house an slamed da door. "dun cum bak or ill shot ya!" she sayd. so i left. {He takes being disowned by his mother rather well...}

so whadda think? IF U FLAM UR RASSIST. {So we can't dislike it on its own merits? No, it's because we're racist!}